Thursday, 2 December 2010

Exacting your revenge (I)

Ok, after the earlier blog - time to get even, just a few handy hints on giving your slugs a good time before they meet their maker:

  1. flavour them - add a bit of salt - makes them shrivel right up, draws the water out of them and they die
  2. take them to the beach - sand they don't like crawling on it, slows them down to trap them easier
  3. the magicians trick - cut them in half with scissors (keep special slug scissors)
  4. breakfast explosions - feed them bran (they explode)
  5. hotel fruit traps - trap them in half an eaten grapefruit/orange/melon - put upside down on the compost they hide inside like a hotel then feed them to the birds
  6. secret slug hunting - go at night time catch them unawares - feed them to the birds
  7. tequila - after they get drunk enough they forget they can't tolerate salt and are done for
  8. beer garden - get them drunk - beer traps in the garden in cups sunk into the ground - collect when drunk as skunks
  9. milk maid - milk will attract them, like the beer traps but better for your underage slug
  10. treat them to some jewellery - copper rings etc electricutes them as they go over them
  11. make them some brekkie - egg shells make them all sore cos they are spikey
  12. the old one two - squish them - (pretty gross)
  13. biological warfare - nematodes - a gross but biological method of control - water in the soil, then don't read about the effects - pretty disgusting
  14. be-friend a frog - they love to eat slugs
  15. frequent flyer miles - fling your slug with gusto into the atmosphere - they do like to fly and tolerate frequent flying
  16. a delicious pet food treat - they love the smell of pet food - put some into a bowl/cup and let them feast themselves to their demise
  17. buy them a coffee - coffee grains sprinkled around deter the little monkeys
  18. baby them - talcum powder acts a bit like salt drying them out
  19. take it off the menu - grow something they just don't like - there are 92 different plants they just won't eat including cornflower, scabious, snapdragons, honesty, tulips, creeping jenny and lavender
  20. pellets are off limits - lifes to short to be boring and use pellets - they cost money and spoil your fun


  1. Thanks for making me laugh before I even had my first cup of coffee.

  2. I find it hilarious that you are happy to recommend squishing, shrivelling with salt or exploding with bran, but get squeamish when it comes to nematodes... I hate slugs, and am grateful that the large frog population tends to keep them under control. The snails, on the other hand, are prolific, but make a lovely crunchy sound when you step on them...

  3. Not a hint of a worry in that about bad kharma.......she who torments cometh back as the tormented......? Hmmmm. Life as a blogging slug. Ahh! you were just joking! Phew, that's alright then. I was worried for you, just for a slight second.

  4. Well glad you've had a bit of a giggle - Janet - biological controls I find very disgusting - I'm squeamish.

    Pamela point taken :) - actually 19 was written with buddists in mind as was a fair few of the others! I prefer to deter, fling or recycle to absolute driect means of murdering (honest). I think perhaps my karma is to be gardening in these conditions! Now life as a blogging slug - that WOULD be interesting!

  5. We have a friendly hedgehog (who drives Toby nuts!) the problem is our Peedie Pup has wrecked the garden so nothing really growing at the moment so limited sluggage

  6. Hedgehog a good idea - peedie pup here can't figure slugs out, he nudges them with his nose then runs away - big fearty!