Friday, 7 January 2011

Enough is enough! I've had it with rogue gurka chickens.............

The gurka, secret spy chicken, on a mission they cannot be trusted!
Today I've taken a chicken out of the closed garage (what on earth was she doing in there????) and spent half an hour doing a road runner dash around the house (several times) trying to get her to go back to her pals. Man can she run fast. Finally my daughter and I managed to corner the poor black bottomed lady, with a full volume, squalking frenzy which had the whole neighbourhood convinced we're into ritual chicken sacrifice as we carried her back to her friends. I never knew a chicken could be so outraged at being taken home!

Back in the house and time for some work, (the snow arrived and school buses dutifully cancelled) - when I spot the young cockeral (nickname 'Jock, son of Einstien') wandering at the fence (on my side) trying to get back into the field (only possible by a magic walking through the fence and the chicken wire type of amazing act). In his wake were 5 of my original hens trying to egg him along. OR, is this organised military training for later spy work? Who knows, cue more chasing, or in this case chasing of Jock, son of Einstien. My hens followed the food I brought out. They were quickly followed by a very enthusiastic peedie who joined in on the food eating. He nicely placed himself between me, my daugher and the hens - another bit of tough negotiation to get him AWAY from the food.
Peedie the amazing hen food eating dog, nudging a chicken out of the way to get his share.
As you may be aware they were moved into a lovely cosy (if a bit tatty) byre to get them out of the snowy weather - which meant they could get full access to a lovely field for frolicking - the field is directly outside the new hen apartments. To get back into the garden, where they KNOW they aren't allowed anyway, they have to do a mad tour of great length at considerable danger (well not much danger but you never know what they are upto out there). How they get into a shut garage I'll never know, nor do I want to - cleary more serious hen-espionage training going on here, perhaps.  OK at this time of year, when nothing is growing, its not a big deal. However, if I'd asked for explorer chickens and break away cockeral mutanies I'd have requested special gurka chickens. I'm not a very happy bunny - give them space to be free - they turn up on the doorstep wondering why they can't get into the house.

As soon as we've a decent day I'm going to have to plan a bit of careful oneway, off you go into the field netting/fencing - WITH chicken readable signs, so there can be no doubt about where they should be frolicking. Fields are for frolicking, NOT gardens, NOT garages and certainly NOT the back door step. One does not wish to meet a chicken on the way to the car, they don't get to come into the house and they can't really be going on giant expeditions which might land them up in the garage as if by magic. If you ask me, they get up to far too much mischief!!! I've seen the Chicken Run movie, I know what these hens are capable of.

Do you think they'll pay any attention? I'd rather not have them cooped up in a completely chicken proof run - I'd love them to do a bit of free-range exploring in the big wonderful field, or down at the beach, or anywhere safe for them which doesn't involve MY GARDEN. Gardens are for plants, campervans, spades, trowels, occassionally humans, birdies on the bird table and often peedie doggies who chase the birdies, NOT for hens.

Hens, your spy-training-espionage-mission finding days are going to be over very soon. One way or another you WILL stay out of my garden and frolic off in the lovely field provided for frolicking. Oh, yes you will my pretties. Do not come between a gardener and her garden, hens are for looking at (in a nice field), egg laying and frolicking, NOT for espionage and garden skullduggery.

{Evil laugh}


  1. Too funny! Really enjoyed your post tonight,

  2. *lol* That's one way to keep warm AND get your daily exercise. Bargain hens, come with added value hehe;)

  3. Oh dear, naughty hens! Lol at the chicken readable signs :D

  4. Well today so far, no untoward hen skullduggery - but its early yet.

    Jenni as you've met the hens, I think we both known they're clearly more capable than the average hen - reading will be easy for them - it probably how they plan out their missions.

    Pamela - free exercise is OK, maybe you're right - bargain hens come at a price!

    FBMKW - thank you!

  5. Hilarious! You clearly have very characterful chickens. Next time perhaps you should go for the common-or-garden unthinking docile type? On second thoughts, much less fun...