Saturday, 9 March 2013

The joy of students - be careful what you wish for.

Now you might think that having involement with your local garden guru's students is as exciting as access to a whole squad of little garden elves. Well I have to say, be careful what you wish for, I'm currently training to be an instructor of horticultural delight, yes I teach, but as yet I don't have my shiny teachers badge, I'm working on that. 
So, yes whilst it is terribly exciting doing horticultural type infested tasks on an almost daily basis, don't get me wrong and learning to pass on that wisdom, is exciting. But let me tell you what's wrong with these pictures and in particular watching other folk gardening.

1. I'm standing at the side with a clipboard. Not cool, I'm not a clipboard kinda gal.
2. My boots are not muddy. Muddy boots are very cool, so I'm currently in the uncool club, mud free.
3. Watching other people dig is not as satisfying as you might think. I like digging, they don't appear to be enjoying it as much as I would.
4. Hearing the phrase 'when will this be over' regarding planting. Now, no idea where to start with this one. When will this be over, young chaps? Well, I'm hoping it will never be over. Who on earth wishes gardening away? I shudder at the mere thought of ever being 'over' gardening.
5. Equally the phrase 'Which way up does this (shrub) go?'  I ask you how many trees do you see waving their roots around the in the mid day sun. Seriously - would you like to be planted upside down? [Remembers that planting students, is not part of the remit, so retires with a smile].
I know we've all got to learn, that is very cool, I love muddy hands and muddy feet get stuck right in learning. As you can see the shrubs all ended up planted beautifully the RIGHT way up. Big tick, VG. Thanks chaps.

Once they'd tidied up (aside a stray spade or so, and we all know how feral those can be.....) and disappeared off to the canteen, in order to steady my nerves again and regain my inner gardener, I rubbed myself down with an ample handful of mud and splashed in a puddle. After that I have to say I felt much better.

To finish the week off I did actually manage to do a bit of gardening using my own fair hands. But that's far too exciting to tell you all about in one post. I'm still scraping the mud off my boots.

Until next time, be careful what you wish for, learning to be a horticulture  type wannabe garden-guru type instructor, whilst sounds uber glamourous, is less mud infested than a girl can really stand.

It involves clip boards [Shudders]  and being clean and obviously, absolutely, NOT throwing trowels when folk try to plant things upside down.

{I find the mantra, 'smile and correct' potentially more politically correct than lobbing a big cloot of mud at a dunderheads 'heid' or offering to plant THEM upside down.}

I know I'll get through it, but its nervewracking, my tongue is bitten into submission and I'm a might too clean for my liking.

Get muddy!


  1. Oh dear, the clipboard would be bad enough, but clean boots?! Surely you have to demonstrate correct technique?!

  2. On the bright side - you could be stuck in a classroom with them!! Dunderheids - don't you just love them - NOT!
    I'm certainly not PC enough to give you any advice :) It's just not gardening if you don't get dirty, is it?

  3. Can't imagine you with clean wellies for very long! Though I *can* imagine you mock-throwing a trowel at a student who tries to wave roots around in the air, good grief ... hope your clipboard adventures aren't *too* wearing.

  4. This reminded me of my husband's saying - he can always tell how much fun I've had outdoors by how dirty I am. Gardening just isn't gardening unless your boots are dirty. I agree with Janet, a demonstration is definitely needed.

  5. Fay, I don't know if it would be acceptable these days but my teacher would have given me a clout aroon the lug for asking such questions. Good luck I am sure you will get through it all just fine.

  6. Brave Fay! And even a clipboard. (If there is ever 8 hours devoted to crafting a Mission Statement well just RUN.) You did so well. The tongue will heal. Let's hope some of the mud sticks to their young souls (as well as soles) and that will make all the difference.

  7. The most useful gardening lesson someone taught me was to lay my fork on the ground with the curved end pointing down. You'd be surprised how many people get caught out.

  8. that's the thing about moving up the ladder, so to speak .. once you get on the next rung you don't get to do the fun stuff anymore .. i wish you well on your way to instructor of horticultural delights .. i have a sense you'll be great at it ..